By Dawn Meehan
Yes, there are times when it’s appropriate to reason with your child, to patiently and eloquently explain why he or she needs to do as you ask. you might present convincing arguments like “Because it makes you strong”; “Because it will keep you safe”; “Because it’s good for you”; “Because it’s bad for you.” But there are times when the only thing that really makes sense is … “Because I said so!!”
This book is a hilarious, honest romp through motherhood–the joys, the sleeplessness, the frazzled days, the unending carpooling, the in-house refereeing, the dieting (yeah right), the worrying–and did we say, the joy?
Here’s what some of that joy looks like — with excerpts straight from the book:
- I tried to do the Buns of Steel video, but quickly realized that it wasn’t intended for people who have buns of pudding.
- I felt like my head might explode. I kind of hoped it would so I could take a nice, peaceful ambulance ride out of there.
- I was a little at a loss. I mean, those parenting books don’t tell you how to break up a fight over an imaginary friend.
- Moms aren’t allowed to get sick more than one day a year. Single moms aren’t allowed to get sick ever.
- Before you have children you can’t imagine yourself saying things like “Don’t put chocolate milk in your pants,” “Take the hot dog out of your nose,” or “Because I said so!”
If you’re a mom-to-be or a mom in the trenches, you’ll love knowing that you’re not the only one out there who sometimes just figures it out as you go along–and sometimes can’t figure it out at all. But in the end, Dawn has these words of encouragement just for you: “Enjoy this time. Even when they make you crazy, these are the best days of your life.” And they really are, aren’t they?
You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (And OTHER LIES About Pregnancy and Childbirth)
By Dawn Meehan
You’ll Lose the Baby Weight is a humorous look at pregnancy and childbirth. Meant to entertain and amuse, Dawn’s true-to-life accounts of pregnancy will ring true with anyone who hears the word, “Mom,” over a 100 times a day.
As a mother of six children, Dawn shares her hard-earned wisdom with readers. Such as…
* Varicose veins runs in families, which means you should get on the phone and start yelling at your mom and grandmother for passing on lousy genes to you.
* Although there’s no evidence cleaning your house is bad for you during pregnancy, go ahead and pretend it is.
* A well-rounded pregnancy diet should include:
- Dairy – a chocolate shake and half a pound of cheese should do the trick.
- Vegetables – a sixteen-ounce container of spinach dip will do nicely.
- Fruit – a quarter of a cheesecake topped with raspberry sauce fulfills your fruit requirement
- Bread – a loaf of King’s Hawaiian bread (you need something with which to eat the spinach dip) and a pound of butter cookies takes care of your bread requirement.
- Protein – sausage pizza, a big, fat hamburger, and twenty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (What? Peanut butter has protein!) fills the need for protein.
* If you plan to give up caffeine altogether, just wear a sign around your neck to give others fair warning: “I’m pregnant and I haven’t had any coffee.” People will see you coming and make a hasty retreat, which should help you avoid any unnecessary violence.
* Your baby can be kicking for twenty minutes straight, but the minute you try to get your husband or mom or friend to put their hand on your belly so they can feel her move, she’ll stop. Without fail. Every time.
* In order to prepare for Baby, go out to your car and spill juice on the seats. Scatter French fries, crayons, and toys on the floor, and put a Veggie Tales CD in the player.
* Before weighing in at every appointment, take off your shoes, empty your pockets, and tweeze your eyebrows.
With such chapters as “I’m Not a Doctor; I Just Play One on TV” and “Morning Sickness: It Isn’t Just for Breakfast Anymore,” this hilarious book takes readers through nine months of pregnancy and all the accompanying symptoms to labor and delivery and the weeks postpartum. It will have readers doubled over in laughter, trying not to wet their pants because, let’s face it, pregnant women have weak bladder control.
After experiencing the death of both parents, Margaret McSweeney recognized the importance of community like never before. Through these difficult times in life, she learned how God uses gritty circumstances to conform us to the stunning image of Christ.
McSweeney also realized that she was not at all alone. It is for this reason that she decided to compile essays into an inspiring book: Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit Experiencing Grace. Through this collection, readers will be encouraged by the heartfelt writings that deal with loss and hardship in a real and honest way. Respected authors such as Shaunti Feldhahn, Melody Carson, Debbie Macomber, Robin Jones Gunn and others help remind every woman that they are not alone and that no circumstance is beyond the grace of God.
100% of the royalties from Pearl Girls™ book sales go to charity!
WINGS (Women in Need Growing Stronger)
This wonderful charity provides shelter in a Safe House for women and children who are fleeing from domestic violence in the Chicago suburbs. In addition, the organization offers transitional housing and job training to help a woman get a second chance in life. It costs $50 to provide a night of shelter in the WINGS Safe House. As a member of the Leadership Advisory Board for WINGS, I have met several of the women who needed a safe place to stay. They are so grateful for the Safe House and for the fresh start that WINGS provides. Already, Pearl Girls has helped provide over 15,000 nights of safety from our proceeds. Let’s provide even more safe nights in the Safe House. Together we can do this!
Hands of Hope
This great organization is helping women and children in Africa. The proceeds from the Pearl Girls book will go directly to help build wells for school children in Uganda. Right now, Hands of Hope is trying to help build fifty wells at fifty schools in Uganda. Can you imagine a child being at school all day and not having clean water to drink? There aren’t any water fountains in the hallway – only a cup of water from a stagnant puddle full of parasites or from a water source that carries disease. It costs $12,000 to build one well. Pearl Girls has already provided a quarter of a well from the proceeds. Let’s try to finish building that well and even another one after that. Together we can do this!